Light-Up

Every sweater in this collection has real, working LED lights – we checked each listing’s photos, and moved out anything where the “lights” turned out to be printed on. Most run from a small battery pack tucked into an inside pocket, with a switch so you can turn the display off and wear it as an ordinary jumper. This is also where the highest Ugliness Ratings live: tinsel trees that glow, reindeer with light-up noses, and full party sets with matching hats. If you want to be seen from the other side of the room, start here. Read more: how to tell real LED sweaters from fakes.